You’re Gonna Find Out That Love’s Your Friend

Dear eHarmony,
Your commercial for the past few days to publicize your free weekend has said “what if the person you’re meant to be with is out there waiting for you?” All due respect, eHarmony, but I know for sure that the man I am meant to be with is NOT out there waiting for me.
I’m not saying he’s not on eHarmony. Heck, more than half of my single friends are on eHarmony, so if they’re any indication, the odds are good.
I’m also not saying that there’s not someone I’m “meant to be with.” While I feel like as Christians there’s a valid argument on either side of the one-person-for-everyone debate, I’m not going to take it up with you. It’s part of a bigger argument that really devolves into a whole predestination versus free-will debate, and I’m fairly certain you were trying to be romantic rather than ideologically profound.
It’s the “out there waiting for you” part I find objectionable. Really? “Out there waiting for you?” As if all single people are sitting around waiting to find a mate so that our real lives can start? I know that’s not how you meant it. I also know that those kind of single people do exist. We all know they exist. They’re giving the rest of us a bad reputation. That’s not really what I take objection to, either.
It’s just that if (and we’re back to that whole free will vs. predestination thing again) there is a man out there who’s meant for me, he’s not out there waiting for me. If he’s sitting around waiting at all, he’s not meant for me. If there’s a man out there meant for me, he’s making the most of this time we’re not together. He’s living his life to the fullest. He’s embracing all that life affords him. He’s fully cognizant of how God’s using him in this time of singleness. Someday, when and if we find one another, he’ll appreciate that I’ve been doing the same.
So eHarmony, I reject your premise that “the person I’m meant to be with is out there waiting” for me. If he’s out there waiting, he’s not for me. Your advertising team is going to have to come up with some other form of propaganda if you’re going to acquire my business.
Thanks for what you do. I have many a friend who’s come home with quite the tale after an outing with someone they met through you. You’ve provided quite the conversational fodder. So thank you for providing that service, if nothing else.
Most Sincerely,
Loni Fancher


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