1. The fingernails on my left hand grow faster than the fingernails on my right hand. In addition, my right side is much more likely to fall asleep than my left. I am mildly concerned about my circulation.

2. Driving a convertible should join ‘going to starbucks’ and ‘checking facebook’ on the methods of procrastination list.

3. Words like umbrage and superfluous roll off my fingertips, but apartment and perceive have to be spell-checked every single time.

4. When I’m tired I am more prone to semi-colon use.

5. Spoonable Equal doesn’t dissolve entirely in reheated coffee.

6. ‘Twitch’ from So You Think You Can Dance was a dancer in Hairspray. He’s the one who catches the eye of Brittany Snow at the very end.

7. The lyrics to Madonna’s Hard Candy album don’t make any more sense after sleep deprivation.

8. I have as many facebook friends online at 4 am as 4 pm.